He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize