everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
