Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
what day is it and did you see me today?
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
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