he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
I think my moral compass just broke
Randomize
