She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Randomize
