Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
My nipple is on Facebook.
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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