She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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