I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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