Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
