ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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