I'm gonna have a badass scar
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize
