a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize