"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
