I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Randomize
