That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
