Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
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