Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Ladies don't puke and tell
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