She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
