Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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