I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
