I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
