nut hugger
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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