how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
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