Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
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