It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Randomize