i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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