I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Randomize