You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Randomize
