ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Drake has all the answers
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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