Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
