I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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