I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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