my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Randomize
