The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
