PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Randomize
