I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
