this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
