i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
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