Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
