You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
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