would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
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