he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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