I love black thongs
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Randomize
