Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
