If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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