I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Randomize
