last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
