You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
