maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
