we're blogging at a bar
real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
