you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Randomize
