I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
