Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
