only if we run a train.
done.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Randomize
