I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
