My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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