Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
