nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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